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There are three instances where sex is unforgettable. It’s either really incredible, like the time I got drunk off illegal absinthe and had trippy sex for what felt like hours; extremely meaningful, an “oh wow, my life is a fairy tale” experience; or so very awful the sex acts are burned into your mind, kind of like the time I did it with this college boy who finished in under 30 seconds. There’s no reason to make every roll in the hay a masterpiece, but it is a good idea to know what you’re doing when you’re gunning for some magnificent sex.
There was actually an investigation on just this subject published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality in March 2009 entitled “The Components of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait of ‘Great Sex,’” which is most likely one of the only times the phrase “it’s for science” could possibly be uttered before testing the waters on, say, fastening a vibrating cock ring onto your partner. Essentially, the study found that “great sex” came down to seven major themes: being present in the moment, connecting with your partner, erotic intimacy, communication, authenticity, playfulness and vulnerability. Trying to balance all of those things at once while you’re getting frisky kind of sounds like a real boner-killer, but are all great things to keep in the back of your mind, so I’ll break it down for you in a simple way.
A whole new world!
Be ready to go outside of your comfort zone. There’s never been a time in my life where trying out something new in the bedroom wasn’t a good idea. Although this is coming from the girl who also wrote about the “Seven Deadly Sins of Sex,” modifying sex moves and introducing toys or other fun accessories are fine by me! Even changing up where you have sex in the house is a good move if you’re not ready to go down the road of experimentation. It’s always fun to have a dirty little secret between you and your partner, especially if it’s a place like the living room or kitchen where you’re able to give her a sultry wink whenever company is over.
Pay attention
While this should go without saying, some people just have a really hard time getting this one down. Paying attention to the reactions to your touching, whispering, kissing and rubbing is such a pivotal and important part of lovemaking. Making a girl go wild with every thrust is fairly easy if you are concentrating on on the signals she’s sending until it pushes her over the edge. One of my partners was able to touch me at the small of my back in a way that would turn me on immediately, a place I previously didn’t even know was erogenous on me and have unfortunately never found since. Ah, memories!
Playfulness
People who take sex seriously are really awful. If you’re going to treat every boner with the same sincerity as you do when you’re “making love” or whatever, be my guest, but I really don’t think it will lead to better sex. I had one guy who would stare me in the eyes the entire time we were doing it and would basically lose his erection if I closed my eyes. I don’t want to gaze into your soul after just meeting you at the bar, i just want to get off and have some fun! I’m not saying throw affection out the window, but joking around and laughing at any sex noises (no matter how weird they may be) will probably make both of you more relaxed and receptive.
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